Sem Break Musings
The sem has ended and I do not want to see my grades. I am afraid of what’ll happen if it be not even a 3.0 despite all the long hours I’ve put in. To show how pathetic I am romantically, when I got a low grade at our Midterms I truly felt disappointed, that despite all the effort I made studying, it ended up as if I didn’t do anything at all. For the first time in my young life I was heartbroken. More than any rejection or gradual alienation I felt from crushes I have had in the past this hurt me the most. Knowing law school I haven’t seen the last of this emotion… I know that I will need the support of my blockmates and friends through these tough times. Nothing in my past has truly prepared me for the rigors of law school. Here every professor expects so much from you, everything you learn has to be remembered and it is important you do or there will be major consequences, you have to be on time all the time and have humility and confidence at the same time when interacting with the professors. Here I learned too late how easy my undergrad was and how I could have breezed through it with half the effort I exerted this sem. This is the first time I truly studied… when I turned into a nerd even without my consent because I have to be bookish to survive. No one can fake or bullshit their way through law school. Though we have the means to make do, I agree that digests aren’t enough, sticking to the course outline still wasn’t going to cut it. Reading in advance, research and getting more information than required: these are what could help you the most. Listening to the teachers are just half of it, you have to do the other half by yourself and this was a totally alien concept with me, being from the College of Mass Communication and the field of customer service where basically everything could be breezed through with sheer bravado.
Faking it. Exactly what I have been doing all these years until now. I am terrified at my need for adaption after 24 years. Maybe law school is the wake up call long past due to me and my blockmates. Things aren’t as easy as getting into UP, getting a high paying job you don’t even like, reconsidering and getting into law school instead to leech off your parents some more… Well, it may not help that I have almost always gotten what I wanted out of life. When I was kid I planned to get into this high school and after go to UP then enter law school. More or less it was a straight path towards where I am now, although there were a few years of working for the heck of it and for the money until I couldn’t stand it anymore. That’s when I thought to myself what I wanted out of life. If I didn’t get into law school, I was probably going to get promoted and get stuck in the call center industry since this was all I knew. I tried applying to other companies but then it was daunting to start at the bottom and there weren’t too many jobs to go around, considering the state of the economy.
Law is a practical choice and a continuing passion when I think of it… My grandfather was a lawyer and though I didn’t get to know him that well, several years after he died I can still see how much people respected him and still remembered his kindness to them as a fiscal of our province. Although I don’t think I will become a fiscal, I would want to follow in his footsteps and make him proud by generally getting into the same profession, which incidentally my father considering getting into as well. Maybe he didn’t because he had to raise us? I guess this is also for him. Having a lawyer as a daughter extends extra bragging rights as is human nature, right? Becoming a lawyer, most of all, is for me. I really wanted to make something of my life, to never stop learning as I loved to study, read up on philosophy, political science and current events, and also to do something that was important to me and to society. I had grown tired of molly-coddling Australians and Americans over the phone regarding their complaints that when looked, weren’t really that cataclysmic or “worth the drama” but treated as if they were. So here I am, seven semesters and one Bar exam to go before I can go to the phase of real lawyering. Law school for me was a way of escaping the banality of life, to finally seek what I really wanted in the deepest part of my heart. It’s good to be reminded of one’s dreams from time to time. It makes it easier for me to picture hurdling the odds and actually graduating from the college. This is even if it means facing the truth that “you do not always sow what you reap”. Being in law school means taking a leap of faith and believing you are worth the good grade. For now grades matter since I am back in school. I can’t wait for that time when I can look beyond that, and just truly be happy that I learned.
The sem has ended and I do not want to see my grades. I am afraid of what’ll happen if it be not even a 3.0 despite all the long hours I’ve put in. To show how pathetic I am romantically, when I got a low grade at our Midterms I truly felt disappointed, that despite all the effort I made studying, it ended up as if I didn’t do anything at all. For the first time in my young life I was heartbroken. More than any rejection or gradual alienation I felt from crushes I have had in the past this hurt me the most. Knowing law school I haven’t seen the last of this emotion… I know that I will need the support of my blockmates and friends through these tough times. Nothing in my past has truly prepared me for the rigors of law school. Here every professor expects so much from you, everything you learn has to be remembered and it is important you do or there will be major consequences, you have to be on time all the time and have humility and confidence at the same time when interacting with the professors. Here I learned too late how easy my undergrad was and how I could have breezed through it with half the effort I exerted this sem. This is the first time I truly studied… when I turned into a nerd even without my consent because I have to be bookish to survive. No one can fake or bullshit their way through law school. Though we have the means to make do, I agree that digests aren’t enough, sticking to the course outline still wasn’t going to cut it. Reading in advance, research and getting more information than required: these are what could help you the most. Listening to the teachers are just half of it, you have to do the other half by yourself and this was a totally alien concept with me, being from the College of Mass Communication and the field of customer service where basically everything could be breezed through with sheer bravado.
Faking it. Exactly what I have been doing all these years until now. I am terrified at my need for adaption after 24 years. Maybe law school is the wake up call long past due to me and my blockmates. Things aren’t as easy as getting into UP, getting a high paying job you don’t even like, reconsidering and getting into law school instead to leech off your parents some more… Well, it may not help that I have almost always gotten what I wanted out of life. When I was kid I planned to get into this high school and after go to UP then enter law school. More or less it was a straight path towards where I am now, although there were a few years of working for the heck of it and for the money until I couldn’t stand it anymore. That’s when I thought to myself what I wanted out of life. If I didn’t get into law school, I was probably going to get promoted and get stuck in the call center industry since this was all I knew. I tried applying to other companies but then it was daunting to start at the bottom and there weren’t too many jobs to go around, considering the state of the economy.
Law is a practical choice and a continuing passion when I think of it… My grandfather was a lawyer and though I didn’t get to know him that well, several years after he died I can still see how much people respected him and still remembered his kindness to them as a fiscal of our province. Although I don’t think I will become a fiscal, I would want to follow in his footsteps and make him proud by generally getting into the same profession, which incidentally my father considering getting into as well. Maybe he didn’t because he had to raise us? I guess this is also for him. Having a lawyer as a daughter extends extra bragging rights as is human nature, right? Becoming a lawyer, most of all, is for me. I really wanted to make something of my life, to never stop learning as I loved to study, read up on philosophy, political science and current events, and also to do something that was important to me and to society. I had grown tired of molly-coddling Australians and Americans over the phone regarding their complaints that when looked, weren’t really that cataclysmic or “worth the drama” but treated as if they were. So here I am, seven semesters and one Bar exam to go before I can go to the phase of real lawyering. Law school for me was a way of escaping the banality of life, to finally seek what I really wanted in the deepest part of my heart. It’s good to be reminded of one’s dreams from time to time. It makes it easier for me to picture hurdling the odds and actually graduating from the college. This is even if it means facing the truth that “you do not always sow what you reap”. Being in law school means taking a leap of faith and believing you are worth the good grade. For now grades matter since I am back in school. I can’t wait for that time when I can look beyond that, and just truly be happy that I learned.
posted by glitchy at
1:27 AM
